she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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