Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
