I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
