it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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