I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
