considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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