well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
