I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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