yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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