Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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