We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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