i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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