If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
