genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
