would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
