a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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