Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Green mimosas i think yes
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
