I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
