Nicole vs. Life
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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