I wanna passion pit in your ass
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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