Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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