My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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