whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
