Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
