You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it penis luge time yet?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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