Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize