Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
