I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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