Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
