I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize