My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
