I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize