Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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