girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
