we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
