Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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