Christians are straight up FREAKS
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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