when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize