Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.

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(315): View more from New York

Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?

(540): View more from Virginia

Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude

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(609): View more from New Jersey

You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"

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(312): View more from Illinois

Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.

(312): View more from Illinois

Denial, avoidance and beer.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.

(586): View more from Michigan

...how and why.

(248): View more from Michigan

PARENTS ARE MAGIC.

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(303): View more from Colorado

HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE

(303): View more from Colorado

actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win

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(618): View more from Illinois

Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

She was just sleeping.

(618): View more from Illinois

Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?

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