Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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