So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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