I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
