Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How does it feel to date your dad?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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