bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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