Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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