All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
