youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
