my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
