CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
