We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
