Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize