Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why do cheetos always look like penises
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
