This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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