'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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