I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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