Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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