I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
