im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
